Mother’s Day is a day of appreciation and respect. I can think of no mothers who deserve it more than those who had to give a child back.
~ Erma Bombeck ~
It’s was Mother’s Day 2009 that I found out I was going to be a mom for the first time. 20 weeks later we lost our first daughter, Bella, to a combination of medical abnormalities and our lives were forever changed. Mother’s Day holds a special place for me because it feels like I’ve truly been a mom for the past 2 years. But this past weekend, my first “real†Mother’s Day, the story of why and how I got into this business has been on my mind a lot. Becoming a mom to our beautiful Baby Brie has stirred up a lot of thought and introspection as to how our family got here and what an emotional roller coaster the past 2 years have been.
I think about Bella, the first daughter we never met. I think about Brielle, and how she would not be here if Bella still was. I think about how lucky we are to have Brielle, such an amazing baby with such an easy going and happy nature. And then I wonder if Bella’s personality would’ve been like Brie’s or completely different. I think about what Bella would look like now. Would she and Brie have looked the same? Would Bella have had the same beautiful strawberry blonde hair and striking blue eyes like her sister? Or would they have been their own unique selves and not even have looked or acted like siblings.
I think about the loneliness and sadness that clouded our 2009.
I think about the uncertainty, hope, and growth that was our 2010.
I think about the overwhelming joy we’ve experienced in 2011.
And I think a lot about photography.
How it has encouraged me. How it has helped me. How it has healed me.
My mind has meandered around all of these thoughts lately, much like I’ve been wandering the path towards becoming a photographer. During the past past 18 months the road has been winding, sometimes I’ve felt lost, I’ve climbed up hills, and I’ve re-discovered the beauty life has to offer. The universe surely works in strange ways, but looking back down the path I can see that there must have been a reason for it all. I took a look back at my very first blog post the other day to remind myself where this journey began. October 6th, 2009. I stated my purpose for blogging. Reason #1:
INSPIRE
That was my big dream 2 years ago. I wasn’t sure how I was going to get there, or what I would do to make that happen, but I wanted to be an inspiration to others. At the time I was looking for an outlet to share my photography journey, experiment with and express my creativity, and attract an audience willing to listen to my story of loss and new life. I wanted the world to know that grieving the loss of an unborn child is lonely, it is never-ending, and the best healer in the world is time and a creative outlet.
But even after expressing my feelings, expanding my technical photography skills, building my portrait portfolio, booking some amazing clients, and teaching moms the confidence to get their dslr cameras out of “auto†mode, something has still felt missing on this journey.
Until now.
Somewhere along the way of building this business I lost the core reason it was started, Bella. She is the missing piece I’ve been searching for and in the coming month the Be Young Photography School is going be adding a new class to its offerings in order to re-focus on what has mattered most from the beginning.
Introducing…
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A 4-week online course designed especially for moms dealing with the loneliness, grief, and sadness of losing a child in pregnancy or infancy no matter how long ago that loss occurred. It’s for moms who are looking for a creative outlet to express their emotion and begin the healing process. It’s a way for these special women to be heard and connect with others dealing with the exact same experience. It’s a way for baby-loss moms to slowly step back into the world and learn to live again.
Bella has inspired the creation of every aspect of Be Young Photography from the first blog post, to each photograph snapped, to teaching moms camera confidence. Now, this class unites all of those values into one common purpose.
To get on the mailing list to learn more about Illuminate and all of the details of how you can be involved in this class experience
I can’t wait to start the healing process with some amazing, strong, beautiful women.