Today I should be 40 weeks pregnant and we should be welcoming Bella in to the world. Instead we are remember her today and hoping that this day brings some closure to the roller coaster ride that has been the past nine months.  A friend sent this quote to me today and it was oh so fitting for how I feel today.

“When the Japanese mend broken objects, they aggrandize the damage by filling the cracks with gold. They believe that when something’s suffered damage and has a history it becomes more beautiful.” ~Barbara Bloom

Bella has truly made me and my life more beautiful.

Thank you to those of you who remember with me today. It means the world that our angel has meant so much not just to us but to family, friends and coworkers as well. She may have lost her life in this world but she will never ever be forgotten.

Life is good.

I haven’t been able to say that with any real conviction in awhile, but really it is.  I have lots to be thankful for right now.

And topping the list of goodness right now is my brand new webpage, just around the corner. We’re weeks, if not days away from launching the new site and I can’t wait for BeYoung Photography to take off, spread its wings, and SOAR!

And as a gift to you, with the launch I’ll also be announcing some exciting photo specials just in time for Valentine’s Day!!

Until then…

You may have noticed my absence lately. And yes I have been absent. But I’ve been busy. This pretty much sums up my week.

I bet can all relate. The day job has been busy. Home life has been busy. Photo editing has been busy. Throw house hunting into the mix and you’ve got a recipe for one hell of a week. Something had to give, and this week it was the blog.  But I have not stood idly by this week. No way!

I am determined. motivated. persistent.

I am an entrepreneur.

And the building has begun.

While the blog was getting neglected this week I was hard at work. reading. attending seminars. listening. And getting some of the best advice I’ve heard in a long while Getting the push I need to launch myself into flight. (because I will SOAR! this year)  I’m sure a lot of you have been in the place where I stand today.

With a dream. Or an idea. Or a passion.

That’s where it starts. But without a road map of where to go you might as well stop dead in your tracks. Because you’re not going to get very far. This week I’ve been soaking in advice from some of my favorite entrepreneurial bloggers.  If you have a dream or a passion or and idea you really should start following Naomi Dunford of IttyBiz, Danielle LaPorte of WhiteHotTruth, and Megan Morris of IdeaSchema. Right now these ladies are my GPS and I am using them to create my road map.

Road Map = Business Plan

*shudders*

That word “Business Plan” scares me to death.  If I write it down, I have to make it happen. If I don’t follow the plan I am a failure, right?

One mistake I admit to making is starting this “thing”, this photography business, without a plan. Without my road map. One day someone asked me to take their family photos and I quickly whipped out some pricing and started shooting. I threw all fear aside and just started because I am passionate about capturing memories. But that passion will only take me so far.  This week I felt it was time for me to get serious and think about creating a plan that will set me up for success in the long run. I’ve know since I started that I would need to buckle down and write a plan eventually. It’s been on the “to do” list. But I think fear of failure and fear of the unknown have held me back.

Then somehow the stars aligned this week and two very good things happened to push this “to do” list into a “will do” list.

1) Our local SBDC (Small Business Development Center) hosted a low cost  2.5 hour “Start Your Business” seminar. Chock full of ideas and resources to help entrepreneurs get set up for lasting success. From how to write your business plan, to the legalities of running a business, to free business counseling services, this place is going to help me get where I want to go.  If you are an entrepreneur and you have not looked into your area’s SBDC I suggest you look into this right away. There are SBDC’s all over the globe and they are there to help you!  The SBDC seminar did push me to say “Yes! I need to write a business plan”. But, I still am struggling with the format. How to get all of my creative energy out of my brain and on paper.  Family photography is only one of the many business ideas I have percolating right now.  There is a lot more creative energy going on inside my head now too.

2) Then, as if Megan Morris could read my mind, she developed and started promoting her Idea Catalyst kit just this week. This ebook meets workbook is going to take my creativity and my dreams out of my brain and actually get them on paper. They are going to be the start of my business plan. And once they are there, on that paper then I may be ready for some of that SBDC business counseling I am so hungry for.

How many of you are currently working on your dreams? What are they? What steps have you taken to make them a reality? Please share any of your inspirations, passions, ideas, or resources here so we can all set ourselves up for lasting success!

While I wait for your responses I will be sitting here listening to my Idea Catalyst ebook, turning on the GPS (working on my ideas), creating my road map (writing the Business Plan), and hopefully setting myself up for a successful journey ahead.

Life has been incredibly busy here this week. From house hunting, to local entrepreneurial seminars, and a busy day job, the blog has been neglected this week. I should hopefully be back in action here with some new ideas, inspirations, and resources soon.  I am hoping the payoff at the end of these crazy few months will be well worth the time, energy, and lack of sleep going on right now. I am ready to receive great things in 2010, but its up to me to go out and grab them.

What are you ready to receive in 2010?

The question of the week from my friends, family, and coworkers has undoubtedly been:

Have you found out about the SOAR! scholarship yet? Did you win?

The short answer is the winners were announced last night and no I did not  “win”.

But the answer I should be giving runs so much longer, deeper, and is much more meaningful so tonight I give you the full scoop on what this experience has meant and done for me.

When I sat down only 3 short weeks ago to work on my SOAR! video I did not think I would win. For all I knew this was going to be the American Idol of photography (I actually think it is!) and I went in knowing my shot at fame and fortune was probably slim to none.  I almost did not apply for that very reason. I didn’t think I had the “it factor” the judges were be looking for. But if you never try you’ll never know so I did it. I told my story, gave it my best shot, and hit the submit button sending away my video and application. I put myself out there. And so did 260+ other woman. All just as amazing, open, and deserving as me.

Then, an awesome thing happened, a community was built. And I quickly was so proud I had applied. I started to see the true benefits from applying:

• If I didn’t attempt to SOAR! I would not have had 6 pages of family and friend comments on my video cheering me on and encouraging me to live my dreams.

• If I didn’t attempt to SOAR! I would not have had those same people publicly praising and affirming my work and my dreams.

• If I didn’t attempt SOAR! I would not have had the opportunity to be a part of a rich community of SOAR! sisters from across the globe with the same passion and desire as me.

• If I didn’t attempt to SOAR! I would not have met the multiple SOAR! sisters who somehow found the time and energy to watch EVERY video entry and leave a comment of support. (way to go! and thank you!)

• If I didn’t attempt to SOAR! I would not have had such a motivation and reason to restart my 365 project. Now we have a SOAR! group on flickr of 30 of us (and growing) committed to working our craft and taking at least 1 photo per day for an entire year.

• If I didn’t attempt to SOAR! I would not have been able to be a part of a 3 hour SOAR! Skype party where we all were nervously and excitedly awaiting results amongst a myriad of technical difficulties.

• If I didn’t attempt to SOAR! I would never have chatted it up with a fellow SOAR! sister who will also be attending the LAUNCH workshop with me in February. It’s such a relief that I’ll know someone there already.

• If I didn’t attempt to SOAR! I would not have received over 20 IMs and text messages last night from family and friends also anticipating the final results with support and excitement.

I may not have won the “grand prize” but I firmly believe that all of us who entered  this competition have won something. New friendships. Networking. Encouragement. Ideas. Support. As cheesy as that sounds its true. And no matter what its because of all of you all that I know I can still do great things this year. With MeRa’s new SOARority assignment website and forum, classes, workshops, and support from my family, friends, and SOAR! sisters I am still fully confident that this year will be one of the best yet.

Watch out everyone, it is still time for me to SOAR!

This past weekend I got to spend time with a friend I miss dearly. Sara and I were new teachers the at the same time, finding our way together though the stress, the joys, and the challenges of that first year.  We very quickly discovered our lives seemed to intersect regularly: adopting adorable kitties the same year, buying new cars at the same time, purchasing our first homes during the same summer and within 2 miles of one another, and both getting married in July of 2006.

We were amazingly compatible, had weekly coffee dates, and over the course of 4 years grew quite a special friendship and bond.  Then, two years ago our lives diverged and I felt lost without her here.  A new job for her husband Sean took them cross country to sunny San Diego California, just about as far as you can get from the east coast. Our friendship is still as strong as ever but now it unfortunately sustains itself on email, Facebook, the monthly phone call, and the occasional trip home to visit family.

In October, the exciting news was publicized that her and Sean were expecting their first child! I was bummed that with Sara and Sean in San Diego I’d miss out on seeing her throughout the pregnancy and not be able to share in such an exciting time with such a good friend. Fortunately, the holidays brought them back east to visit family and they threw her a lovely baby shower in Richmond, VA last weekend where I got to capture some beautiful images of her special day.

Thank you Sara for including me in the festivities. I so miss our time together and really hope life brings you guys back east soon.  I am incredibly excited for you and Sean and can’t wait to meet the little “McNugget” when she arrives!

“People are never more insecure than when they become obsessed with their fears at the expense of their dreams.”

~Norman Cousins~

Fear is a sneaky beast. Lurking in the shadows until its ready to come charging, full speed ahead, to knock you down.  Crippling. Blinding. Gnawing. Numbing. FEAR. Fear knocked me down this weekend.

fear of failure

pregnancy

heartbreak

ideas

burn out

acceptance

criticism

fear of the unknown

But I refuse to let this fear keep me down.  It’s 2010. And I am going to SOAR.  That’s my mantra. I am spreading my wings.  I don’t know where my flight path leads.  I have some idea of where I’m going but with a whole wide world out there my options are vast.

Today its a photography business (because as you know I love to take pictures!). Tomorrow its “maybe I’ll write a book” (but really I have no clue what I’d write about – grief? loss? coping? photography? technology? teaching? giving? i have no clue…). The next minute its a desire to help others tackle grief (through photography therapy maybe?? Is there such a thing??!!).

My creativity is just waiting to be unleashed.   I keep pondering a fire starter session with Danielle LaPorte and then think little old me with my unfocused and underdeveloped ideas is in no place to be even going there.  What I do know is that I want to be inspired.  So, keep on inspiring me friends. Help me pick my path and really take off.  I want something big. I want to own it. Create it. I want to kiss fear goodbye. And say hello to my dreams.

December was my NaBloPoMo month for blog posting and I first want to proudly state that I did it!!!I posted daily for all of December 2009. Some days it was hard. I was tired. Didn’t have anything to write about. No pictures to take. But I pushed through the burn out and finished!

Soooooo, that means you won’t be hearing from me daily on the blog from here on out. BUT, if you want to see my work daily for the next year catch me over at flickr. I’ve decided to take the plunge and restart my project 365 this year, thanks to all of your encouragement. I am also thrilled to see many many friends old and new starting the journey with me. I hope we can all be a source of encouragement and inspiration as the year progresses.

The most shocking of my 365 compadres? My very own Calmer! He decided to take the plunge as well. He doesn’t really use the dSLR too much. Doesn’t claim to own a point and shoot. So he’ll be using a variety of cameras this year for his project: webcam, camera phone, point and shoot, and maybe even the dSLR too. I am sure getting a peek into our world from each of our perspectives will be an interesting contrast. Today was the perfect example.

Beryl: Ready to SOAR! Excited about the new office corner set up and ready to rock and roll with the new iMac and the new business venture.

Calmer: Supporting me to the fullest, but not really enjoying the new computer so much.

(click on our names to head on over to our flickr pages and get the full scoop)

Who else started their 365’s today?? Post your links in the comments. I want to see!

I love this time of year. Reflection. Renewal. Resolve. To make peace with the 365 days that have passed and anticipation for the clean slate just around the corner.  Since the age of 12 I have made a list of new years resolutions.  Me and Rachel, my childhood friend of 16 years lived for New Year’s Eve. Sitting around, a bowl of our special new year’s chili in one hand, a pen in the other, with not a care in world and imaging the possibilities that a new year would bring.

As an adult I still live for this day. The themes, process, and outcome of my yearly reflection have all grown up a little bit. But the feeling is still the same. Closing one chapter, and opening the door to a new one.

Inspired by the Shutter Sisters once again I am reflecting and exploring this past year and the year to come with just one word.  One word to embody 2009, and another word to carry me through 2010. I’ve been playing with words since Monday. Letting them roll off my tongue, rattle around in my brain, and see how they stick. Do they feel comfortable? Do they feel right?  2009 was a bear of a year for me and my Calmer.  Finding only one word has been an arduous exploratory process. And it took me all week. But I found it. I found my word.

2009: HOPE

I started this year with hope for starting a family. Continued the year with hope for the new life that would enter our world. And I’m ending the year with hope for a successful photography business venture next year. There was most definitely love, despair, inspiration, sadness, and thousands of other words that could be weaved throughout my year. But hope seemed to weave it’s way throughout and it definitely felt right.

Photography has also been a big part of this past year. 10 out of the 12 months.  I’ve been looking back and it’s amazing to see how far I’ve come and the road I’ve traveled this year.  I have many favorite images from my photography journey but I tried to chose one favorite to represent each month of this year.

And now I am ready to close this chapter. I am ready for 2010. My goals, dreams, and aspirations for this year are lofty. And I have my word. Inspired by Me Ra Koh and her scholarship.

2010: SOAR

A powerful yet encouraging mantra to take me higher and achieve the success I’ve been hoping for.

Do you have your words? How would you sum up your 2009 with just one word? Do you have an inspiring one word mantra for 2010? Take time today to reflect here with me.

As 2009 comes to an end I find it hard to believe that what started only 3 months ago as a way for me to write, to express, and to heal, has turned into an amazing opportunity. An opportunity to start a business capturing memories, your precious memories, for years to come.  It fills me with so much joy, I can hardly put what I feel into words. Thank You.  During the past 2 months I have completed 8 family photo sessions. Each unique, each special, and each allowing me the opportunity to learn, to experiment, and to gain a confidence with the camera that I never knew I had.  Here are just a few of my favorite memories captured during those special first sessions.

Looking ahead there are some big changes underway for me and this business.  As I write, I have a brand new webpage being developed!! With a new look and feel. And a new name. The launch of the new webpage means “Bella Rose Photography” as a business page will become a thing of the past.  I may keep this blog running as my landing space for personal reflection but the business will undergo big changes. “BeYoung Photography” will soon be born and I couldn’t be happier! Hopefully within the next month the new page will be up and running, so stay tuned for updates.

In the meantime, some other changes are already taking shape. I am excited to have new packages and new product offerings to start off 2010. Head on over to the Investment page for all the details. In addition to family portrait sessions I am excited to offer a new “Belly and Baby” package, and event sessions too.  Stay tuned in the coming months for “Mini Session” offerings as well.  Product purchase options now include photo prints of all sizes, an archival CD of edited images, gallery canvas prints, or custom designed albums.

Turning this hobby from vision to a full fledged business venture would not have become a reality without your readership, support, trust, and encouragement. I am so excited to begin booking sessions for 2010 and can’t wait to hear from you and begin capturing your memories. It’s going to be an amazing year.